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Compare vs Compete

”COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY.” – THEODORE ROOSEVELT


Sound familiar? And more significantly – can you relate?


I have been photographing women for a good number of years now and over that time I have made some interesting observations, asked lots of questions and come to some interesting and possibly sad conclusions.


Women "compare" while men "compete".


It is one of the main reasons a lot women hold back from undertaking “boudoir” and “glamour” style shoots because they are not sure how they will do “compared” to the images they have seen while doing their research (including those on my website and social media). I hear it all the time, “I am no model”, “I am not as skinny as your other models”, “I am a curvy girl”, “I don’t have the confidence like the other women do”…..


I find it interesting because I myself along with most other males generally do not compare with each other, we compete!!! We are not interested in what other guys are wearing, how tall/ short we are, whether we “compare” well with men in the imagery we take in or how well our photos do in social media (…. might delete later!!! Sound familiar??). We are not scanning the room taking mental notes and trying to figure out where we rank in that particular setting. When we go out it is not about the shoes we are wearing, the labels on our clothes or how youthful we look compared to other guys. We are more interested in getting that last parking space (or the closest), getting served at the bar first, scoring that freebie or making sure we are backing what will be the winning team before the game has even started.


And it is this mix of female client and male photographer which creates a unique and magical boudoir experience for my clients. While you are busy comparing your images with those you have seen and possibly provided as inspiration for your shoot and wondering how you rate against them, I am working hard to prove you wrong!!! I am competing against you. To prove you wrong and to prove that you do you rate, that you are good enough and deserving and if I don’t???? I have lost!!!! You have won and I have lost and that’s’ not how it works. I am out for the win, nothing else will do and guess what??? If I win, you win too!!! I have proved you wrong, you do rate, you did great in your shoot and now you have awesome and timeless images to prove it.


So now what?? Stop comparing is what and if you are feeling like a win then let’s shoot 😊


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